Since the older boys got themselves in trouble and I had to enforce new rules I see them grasping the importance of family.

Before the punishment Darian (13) was out a lot over his friends..now he has to stay close to home until I feel he is ready for responsibility.

Last night we went to the Y for family swim as they opened the new pool. It was wonderful having all of my children together. Honestly I could not have done it alone...dealing with the littler ones unless the older boys were there and I made sure to let them know that as well.

Darian and Cullen (9) played int he water with some diving sticks. They included Isaiah (4) by bringing them to him to throw out for them to retrieve. Geneva (11 1/2 months) loved splashing and kicking her feet.

When it was time to go home...I had my hands full with Geneva and myself. Without even asking the older boys got Isaiah dressed and put his shoes on. There was no way...well ok I would have had to do it but I would be a hot mess if I had to get the two little ones ready.

I am proud of my boys that this time they seem to be learning what I have been trying to teach them all along

The older boys make mention a lot of how hard it is to find friends. I always remind them that we are a family that no matter what happens we will ALWAYS have each other. I think they are finaly grasping that concept now and it feels so NICE

It is here.....her first word is HI...along with a wave. It is too cute. I was thinking she was trying to do that but thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me.

Last night at my Mom's she kept saying HI and waving to my Mom. Geneva (11 1/2 months) seems to be tickled pink at her new word. Being able to truly interact with the family.

I love being able to be here to watch all of these firsts. Any day now she will be walking as she has been making many strides towards this goal by standing on her own and coasting using the walls or the couch.

She knows she is becoming a big girl as when ever she stands on her own a big smile is sent my way usualy along with clapping of her hands.

Geneva (11 1/2 months), Isaiah (4) and I went to the beach early this morning. This time we went to Horseneck beach which is a 1/2 hour away instead of Nantasket which is more like 1 hour and a 1/2.

I have not been to that beach since I was young myself. It was so breezy there that the younger kids needed coats. I loved watching Isaiah building his castles, digging holes, throwing rocks.

Geneva had fun exploring the beach for the first time. She picked up a big rock and of course put it right in her mouth Then it was the sand..she touched it not knowing just what it was then tried to put that in her mouth too

She spent the rest of the day throwing rocks...shells...sand and just about anything else she could find in a bucket of water. A bucket of water that Isaiah insisted I get. Which meant me trudging into the ice cold water. The things a Mom will do for her kids without even thinking twice

Before we came home I stopped at a local park where they played. Geneva can walk quite a distance as long as you hold both her hands to lead her.

I am still waiting for the magical moments when she truly can walk on her own. She has taken a few steps but nothing big yet.

It was a beautiful day today...in the 70s. We all went to the state park for a walk..about a 3 mile walk. It was nice being in nature..breathing fresh air.

Then I set up a little pool for the kids who had fun running around with water guns enjoying the weather. I thought Geneva would like it but no no it was too cold for her guess she prefers a heated pool

She had fun though making Mom pull her in the wagon around and around and around. I actualy have a sunburn from being outside imagine THAT!

With all of the happenings latley with the older boys..I have decided that they will need to start from scratch regarding their privaleges and their freedoms.

So for now this mother hen will be keeping her chicks in eye sight until I think their ready to fly the coop

I was not going to post a song...which is unlike me because I usualy look forward to thinking of a song to post...then hunting it down.

Here it is Tupac Papaz Song. Tupac would write some nasty songs about women but when he did make one praising the single Mom's out there being Mom's and Dad's HE HIT A HOME RUN.



I see both of my older boys in this video...what they go through with their Dad's being MIA

Papa'z Song"(feat. Wycked)

Daddy's home...

[2Pac]
Heh, so?
You say that like that means somethin to me
You've been gone a mighty long motherfuckin time
for you to be comin home talkin that "daddy's home" shit
We been gettin along fine just without you
Me, my brother, and my mother
So if you don't mind, you can step the FUCK off, POPS.. fuck you!

[2Pac]
Had to play catch by myself, what a sorry sight
A pitiful plight, so I pray for a starry night
Please send me a pops before puberty
the things I wouldn't do to see a piece of family unity
Moms always work, I barely see her
I'm startin to get worried without a pops I'll grow to be her
It's a wonder they don't understand kids today
so when I pray, I pray I'll never grow to be that way
And I hope that he answers me
I heard God don't like ugly well take a look at my family
A different father every weekend
Before we get to meet him they break up before the week ends
I'm gettin sick of all the friendships
As soon as we kick it he done split and the whole shit ends quick
How can I be a man if there's no role model?
Strivin to save my soul I stay cold drinkin a forty bottle
I'm so sorry...

[Chorus]
I'm so sorry
for all this time (I'm so sorry)
for all this time
for all this time (don't lie)
I'm so sorry
for all this time (so, sorry)
for all this time
for all this time, so sorry baby!

[Wycked]
Moms had to entertain many men
Didn't wanna do it but it's time to pay the rent again
I'm gettin a bit older and I'm startin to be a bother
Moms can't stand me cause I'm lookin like my father
Should I stay or run away, tell me the answer
Moms ignores me and avoids me like cancer
Grow up rough and it's hard to understand stuff
Moms was tough cause his poppa wasn't man enough
Couldn't stand up to his own responsibilities
Instead of takin care of me, he'd rather live lavishly
That's why I'll never be a father;
unless you got the time it's a crime don't even bother
(That's when I started hatin the phony smiles
Said I was an only child)
Look at mama's lonely smile
It's hard for a son to see his mother cry
She only loves you, but has to fuck with these other guys
I'm so sorry...

[Chorus]
I'm so sorry
for all this time
for all this time
for all this time
I'm so sorry
for all this time
for all this time (so sorry)
for all this time, so sorry baby!

[2Pac]
Man child in the promised land couldn't afford many heroes
Moms was the only one there my pops was a no-show
And ohh -I guess ya didn't know
that I would grow to be so strong
Lookin kinda pale, was it the ale oh pops was wrong
Where was the money that you said, you would send me
talked on the phone and you sounded so friendly
Ask about school and my welfare
but it's clear, you ain't sincere hey who the hell cares
You think I'm blind but this time I see you comin, Jack
You grabbed your coat, left us broke, now ain't no runnin back
Ask about my moms like you loved her from the start
Left her in the dark, she fell apart from a broken heart
So don't even start with that "wanna be your father" shit
Don't even bother with your dollars I don't need it
I'll bury moms like you left me all alone G
Now that that I finally found you, stay the Fuck away from me
You're so sorry..

[Chorus]
I'm so sorry (so sorry)
for all this time (so, so sorry)
for all this time (I'm so so sorry)
for all this time (fuck that!)
I'm so sorry
for all this time (no)
for all this time (so sorry)
for all this time, so sorry baby!

[Tupac - impersonating his father]
I never meant to leave but I was wanted
Crossed too many people every house I'd touch was haunted
Had to watch the strangers every brother was in danger
If I was to keep you breathin, had to be out of range-a
Had to move, one to lost my name and pick the number
Made me watch my back I had no happy home to run to
Maybe it's my fault for being a father livin fast
But livin slow, mean half the dough, and you won't get no ass
Hindsight shows me it was wrong all along
I wanted to make some dough so you would grow to be so strong
It took a little longer than I thought
I slipped, got caught, and sent to jail by the courts
Now I'm doin time and I wish you'd understand
all I ever wanted was for you to be a man
and grow to be the type you was meant to be
Keep the war fightin by the writings that you sent to me
I'm so sorry...

[Chorus w/ variations til end]