This morning as I was writing on my other blog I saw someone was in chat and decided to go in. There was Rosie and we were talking about how much fun chat was at one time.

I am sure everyone stopped going in there because the constant fighting and what not but maybe we can all try this again as it is no fun chatting alone.

So what do you guys think? Want to start going in there again? I myself loved being able to write a post and then go into chat and have a laugh, help a friend or have someone be supportive of me.

For those of you who are new to Blogstream perhaps going into the chat room can help us all connect like a family like we used to be. I for one am going to make more of an effort to go into chat, so see you there!

I took the older boys to the park the other day. It was nice to be able to sit back and relax just watching them play instead of running after a toddler but I still had the Mommy guilt of not taking Geneva (1/12) with me.

Cullen (10) and Isaiah (5) ran after each other playing tag and Darian (14) practiced skateboarding. Then some more kids on skateboards came and they joined Darian. I smiled watching him make friends and learning new tricks.

As a Mom I have some great ears I can pay close attention to a conversation I pick up on without anyone knowing I am listening to them. I tuned in to a conversation these two teens were having who had just left the basketball court.

I hear them agreeing how they were both in bad moods and that they should beat up the skateboarders. Of course my motherly protection starts a brewing and I am ready to cuss them out but I also realize Darian is a teen and I can’t always fight his battle.

So I hear these kids go on and on about how lame skateboarding is and how their going to kick their a**es. They ended up leaving with nothing happening of course their bark was worse then their bight.

It saddened me to see how judgmental people can be. Just one more stereotype out there and one other hated group of people, sad really sad.

Well I did it, I spoke at the fund raiser and it was a very powerful experience. Sure I was nervous but I kept telling myself… tell the truth… tell the emotions… speak from the heart (thank you fellow bloggers).

This was the first time I spoke in front of an audience since college and the very first time I had a microphone. I held Geneva (1 ½) in my arms as I spoke with raw emotions of a time in my life where I had no support in my decision to keep my pregnancy. A time in my life where it was pure hell at work being attacked from all sides for trying to stand up for what was right. It was a time that I never thought would pass yet the counselor’s words from a Woman’s Concern rang through my head daily ‘Do not make a decision based on what is going on in your life today as this will surely change’.

I spoke of how this organization stood by my side the whole way through my pregnancy lending support and offers to help if needed. That one phone call a month kept me on track made me strong enough to stand up against those who told me to abort my baby and make a decision of my own.

I spoke of how that whole experience brought my faith in God back as so many years of bad experiences made me turn away from God. This was different something inside of me told me that God was happy and proud of me for making the decision to choose life as a result things settled in place magically.

I spoke of how God kept his promise and provided all through my pregnancy and continues to do so to this day. I spoke of an unexpected pension check that came from a prior job that paid for all the things the baby needed. I spoke of how I am rich beyond a monetary sense as I have tremendous love from my children as well as God. I want for nothing at this point in my life. I may not be a millionaire, wear designer clothes, drive a fancy car, have a big bank account but all the necessities are always covered and more then that I am rich in love from my children.

I was amazed at how everyone paid close attention to what I was saying. Their smiles lighting up across the room. Then there were the claps at the end of my testimony I felt so good to be able to give back to an organization that gave me my daughter's life and a new take on life.

So many people came up to me after telling me how wonderful my testimony is and thanking me for speaking. I told each and every one of them how honored I was to be able to give back to this cause as they gave me life in more ways then one.

This Saturday I have accepted an invitation to be a public speaker for an organization that helped me very much. ‘A Woman’s Concern’. This organization is one that helps women and men see how precious life is. To some they may see it as a pro-life organization but they are so much more.

Yes they counsel pregnant women and their families and their ultimate goal is to have the woman continue on with her pregnancy but they don’t shove it down your throat or pass judgment. What I loved most about them is they always checked in with me every month as my pregnancy with my youngest progressed. Even to this day they call here and there to make sure I am ok and to see if I need anything.

Their approach with me allowed me to make a decision for me, a decision where I chose life and as a result I had my only daughter.

I have always told them that I am willing to do what ever they need to assist them. It’s always great to give back. So this Saturday I will do just that speak to a room full of possible donors to serve as a real life testament that the services they provide do indeed work.

Cullen (10) is my dependable child. He is always there to help with his younger siblings and thinks about others feelings. Sometimes this is a downfall because he stresses himself out with the responsibilities that he places upon himself.

I tell him all the time to back off and be a kid to let me take care of things because his younger siblings are my kids and that I am the Mother but he still tries his hardest to help.

Yesterday I decided to reward him for all of his hard work. Him and I had a day to ourselves. We went to the movies and then we went to the arcade and bowling. I enjoyed myself very much and got some time to truly explain to him that he can not be doing that all the time, that it is great to be helpful but there is a line where his duties end and my duties are.

We had so much fun more so at the arcade and bowling. I can not tell you the last time I bowled. Then the arcade let me tell you we combined our tickets and we ended up with 1500. We got something for all of his siblings and himself with them.

All though it is hard spending one on one time with 4 kids and one of me I realize how important it is to do this to make each child feel special and know that Mom loves them as an individual as a part of our family.