Wow two days in a row I have had some refreshment from the same old same old every day. Yesterday it was out and about on my own then tonight it was to the movies by my oldest's request.
It was nice just Darian (13), Cullen (9) and the boy from next door who goes to school with Darian.
Darian and his friend wanted to see 300 but they would not let them in without an adult. Cullen and I were cruising around the mall at the time so Darian and his friend ended up having to come to our movie 'Wild Hogs'. It was a really funny movie some of the funniest actors are in that one.
I enjoy being alone with my oldest kids it makes me feel young again (not that I am that old at 31 but you know what I mean). It's funny to feel carefree and silly with them. I like to be the 'Cool Mom' that their friends can relate to.
It is my duty every day to see the positives to try to laugh as much as I can. I bring this thinking process to my kids and hopefully their friends as well.
Laughter is the best medicine. What could be better then sharing laughter with the ones you love the most? Now that's priceless.
Goodnight my blog friends sleep tight muah

My son Darian (13) is so big now. My baby is turning into a little man or shall I say on the path to becoming a man.
Guess he really slapped me with a dose of 'check yourself' when he asked to start shaving
It amazes me when I look at him sometimes how big he has gotten how smart he is, just everything about him. You never know what your kids will become as they mold themselves into adults but it sure is amazing the whole process.
Darian out of all of my kids has been through the most. We have been to 3 shelters, a transitional progam, bad relationships, good relationships, poverty, financial security, all most everything.
He has always been my right hand man. As the years have gone by I am doing much better. I tell him all the time that it is ok I am ok he does not have to be the MAN of the house or be my protector but I guess that is just the skin he has grown into.
Boys do love their Mommas with fierceness. They feel the need to protect any female that their close to as I see the same protectiveness with Neva (10 months).
I love watching my oldest go off to school in the morning. He gets all freshened up (or whatever you guys call it), CD player/CD in hand. He has his own sense of style, music tastes everything.
Don't get me wrong the teen years do have a way of driving you just a tad bit insane with the moodiness but I am learning how to deal with it just fine.

I have felt a little overwhelmed latley. Just raising 4 kids is enough to make anyone stress a little never mind everything else that comes with life as a grownup
Here and there I have these urges just to get out alone. Usualy I take at least one of the boys with me but sometimes a Mom needs a little me time ya feel me?
Tonight I took off for a few hours. I didn't have any plans or any reason to go out just browsed a few stores. While in Target my mind was still on my kids. I kept seeing things they needed or would want. I tried to focus on something I may have needed or wanted but just couldn't do it. Yet it was so easy to do that for the kids.
Being a Mom or a parent at that is one of the most unselfish jobs on the face of the planet yet it gives you so many good feelings to think and do for your kids.
I ended up with night pants and a CD player for Darian (13) as his just broke, jeans for Cullen (9), hulaballo game for Isaiah (4) which I must say is a lot of fun sort of like twister and then for Neva 9 1/2 months) my first Bible board book.
Before I came home I stopped at Petco to look at all the cute animals. Animals have always been a love for me they calm me just by watching them.
Then it was back home feeling like my battery had been charged for another go at this parenting thing
I have to tell you guys how much media effects our little ones. Cullen said to his friend yesterday that he would not be in school today because he had to go for a paternity test. His friend said where are you going the Maury show?

| View Show | Create Your Own
After I got home I started to wonder what had happened between Cullen's Dad and Cullen. They were kind of close at one time.
I guess it all depended if we were together or not. When we were an item he was good to Cullen and my son Darian but if we broke up either by his choice or mine he distanced himself.
I went through some of the pictures I had of when I first brought Cullen to visit Justin. He had not seen his son since he was born because I was miles away. I rode a bus an hour and some change to his town in the blistering cold with Cullen who was not even a month yet because it was important for me to see Father and Son together.
We never know what tomorrow will bring. I hope he sees the light and comes through on his end. If I have to drive hours to New York for them to see each other so be it. Whatever needs to be done will be done for Cullen's sake.

Cullen and I went through the whole paternity testing process this morning no problem. In fact it was so quick. They took us right away and were so nice.
As promised I took Cullen out the the mall after and bought him a new video game. It was nice spending some one on one time with him.
During the car ride there he was asking me about the boyfriends I had, what they were like, who was my favorite and who I liked the least. It was pretty funny jogging my memory there.
It appears Cullen's Dad will be tested in New York where he is at so we will have to wait for that to be done. Then the next step which would be to go in front of a judge so they can determine what he should pay in child support.
As my world turns