OK Which one of you little angels here on the stream sent good vibes my way??? Which one of you angels made my dream come true? Serriously it had to be some good vibes/prayers because what happened last night was nothing short of a miracle
I slept a full 7 hours!!!! That never happens even before Geneva was teething she still woke up for at least one feeding at night. Latley with the teething I have been up for the most part of the night.
When Neva started to fuss I looked at the clock thinking it was 11PM or so as I went to bed at 10PM nope to my surprise it was 5AM Yeah finally much needed rest.
I can not tell you how GOOD I feel this morning. Sleep really makes a difference.

Woke up just in time as I have to drive my Mom and my oldest Darian (13) to the airport shuttle. These lucky buggers are going to Florida for all most three weeks to visit my Aunt and cousins. Their leaving just in time too because the news says we are in for a snow storm tonight
I am sort of excited for the snow as Isaiah (4) has not had a chance to play in the snow this year. Everytime snow is on the ground in the morning it is gone by the afternoon and Isaiah is disapointed.
I went to Walmart yesterday to get him boots and snow pants so we're all ready mother nature BRING IT ON

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BF got flip with me last night saying that I seem to get stressed out over the littlest things as I became a little irritated with Neva's crying after her bath. I try to explain to him that it is hard after a week or so of a messed up sleeping pattern.
This teething thing is really taking it's toll on me as I lose more and more sleep everyday. I give up trying to get Neva back to sleep as it is a losing battle. She has been getting up at least 3 times a night. She will stay up for a minimum for an hour at a time before she will fall back asleep. I try everything I know to comfort her all though sometimes it seems like it is not enough at all.
I like to think I have a pretty high threshold for stress being a parent to 4 kids of all ages ranging from 13 to 9 months. Mom is my tag but I am human first and foremost.
As the saying goes you have to walk a mile in my shoes. He doesn't wake up with her everynight all night for weeks at a time so he really can't judge me unless he has been there. He used to wake up with Isaiah (4) when he was a baby but he would only wake up for a bottle nothing like this.
When your deprived of sleep you tend to turn to mush the simplest things can escape you. I do find some bit of comfort in the afternoons when she takes a nap as I will lay down with her and Isaiah for an hour or so nap. Every little bit helps.
As they say this too shall pass. I can't help but wonder...how much longer????

Isn't it funny how some of our memories wether they good or bad seem to escape us? Then all it takes is a little hint of that memory to make the brain unravel it little by little.
My Dad came over tonight to drop Darian (13) my oldest off after spending the weekend with him. We always chat a little before he leaves. Tonight we talked about the doll house he made for me when I was a little girl.
Dad has always been a crafty little bugger when it comes to wood working. He spent damn near a year downstairs in our apartment basement working the details out on this beautiful doll house. Everything was done by him no plans at all.
I've always remembered how beautiful it was and how much fun it was to play with but some of the little details escaped me. Talking with my Dad it all came back to me. The battery powered chandeliers, fireplace, little tiny door knobs, even little pictures which he cut out of magazines half the size of a match book then framed to look like little pictures hanging in the doll house.
While we were talking about the house and all the work that went into it I felt so thankful. As a kid you love things like that but when you become an adult you see how time consuming a project like that is and how much love goes into it. It felt so good to thank him for the doll house which I am sure I did as little girl Angela but it was special to do it as woman/mother Angela.
I gave that doll house away 3 years or so ago to a neighborhood little girl whom I was close to as I did not see the need for it thinking I would never have a little girl of my own as I did not see myself having children. All though I wish I had kept it for Neva I don't regret giving it away to the little girl Jordan as I saw so much of myself in her. I hope she got some use out of it, enjoying it as much as I had.
I asked Dad tonight if when Neva got older could he make her a doll house. He said yes of course and smiled. I told him all the supplies would be taken care of by me I just needed his time and gift.
Now I can see myself in 4 more years or so playing in a doll house similar to my own childhood treasure making new memories. I will make sure she keeps her doll house as you never know what life will bring besides even if she doesn't have a girl she will have 3 brothers, one of them is bound to have a little girl

This morning I took the ride to Nonny's nursing home. With each day that goes by she seems to slip further and further away from me. Her body is here but her mind is far..far away.
Since last weekend she seems more distant. She doesn't appear to know who I am anymore. All though this saddens me I am not giving up damit. She may not be able to spit those words out but she needs me and I need her more.
Nonny did not talk much during the visit she stared around the room even taking off a few times in her wheel chair. There was one point where she wheeled up to the table and said 'They need to....ASSES ON CHAIRS!' in a very demanding tone. I died laughing as I just know it was a moment a memory she was living in when she was a Mom. She laughed when she turned and saw me laughing. I told her how I need to bring up a notebook to make sure I catch all these funny phrases she comes out with. Some of these can be very helpful during the rearing of my own kids.
Dementia may be taking away her mind but her heart will always be mine. One memory from when I was a little girl sticks in my head during these times. When I would sleep over we would be in her big water bed Nonny, my cousin Jason and I. She would point to my school picture on her mirror and say 'We are never far away from each other Angela your always in my heart.' She told me how every night if we thought about each other at the same time that we would forever be connected. Gosh I love that memory!