I have been trying to make it a point to get out of the house once a week usually on Friday or Saturday nights for my own sanity. Being a stay at home, I feel like a prisoner in my own home sometimes. Surrounded by nothing but kids.
Last week I took Cullen to the movies with me as Darian was with Grandpa for the weekend. Tonight I wanted to take both of my men (Darian and Cullen) to the movies to see 'Stomp The Yard' as I have been dying to see this movie.
Darian asks if he can bring a friend, I agreed. When I went to pick him up at the Boys club one friend turned into two friends. I said no at first because I am no Miss Money bags I can't pay for everyone's kids but then I found out the additional kid had his own money. Off we went the five of us for a nice evening out...NOT!
My head filled up with pride when I heard my son telling his friends 'See I told you my Mom was cool' when they asked what movie we were going to see. That is all I needed to here I am not the hated mother I am COOL. I felt like rudolph in that Christmas movie SHE THINKS I'M CUTE
Then my balloon was busted before it fully inflated, his friends and him went off on their own as we had an hour or so before the movie. Here I was by myself staring at the little kids on the Jumpee cord thing in the middle of the mall along with the elderly people watching them smiling reminicing of old times.
If that wasn't bad enough my kid comes back to me to tell me he saw a hat he wanted. He drags me to the store, now I am a girl I do not specialize in baseball hats. It appears their prices have gone up since I was a kid 30 FRICKIN BUCKS FOR A HAT! Not only have the prices gone up but they have sizes too
When I told Darian the evil TEEN MONSTER reared it's ugly head. He got all pissy. Now I wanted to tear him a new a**hole but I had to control myself as I did not want to embarass him in front of his buddies.
I walked away into a women's clothing store I thought for sure that was a safety zone, no teenage boys would be caught dead coming in there even if their mom was in there, with all the bras and panties. I sat there touching all the clothes, looking around wondering if I could just stay in there for an hour when the movie started I would be all set...........AGAIN NOT. Here comes Darian, friends and little brother with him. 'Mom I found a $15 hat I want' I told him I would be there in a minute.
I get in there yeah the hat fits but uh....Darian has larger then average ears that just stuck out on the sides of the hat. It did not do him justice. I was not going to by a hat that looked like that on him and also did not want to explain why i.e. his ears in front of his friends. So I was the mean mother who said no.
Finally it was movie time yeah now I can sit and relax, watching the movie I have been waiting to see. HELLO CAN WE ALL SAY ATTACK OF THE FRICKIN TEENAGERS???????
I had no idea Chris Brown and Neyo were in this movie, apparently they are like the New Kids on The Block of my era. So the theater is packed with ALL TEENAGERS mostly teen girls. I took my seat away from my son and his friends as who would want to be seen with their Mom on a Friday night, come on now. So Cullen and I settled into our seats.
I felt like I was on another planet I was so outnumbered by these teenagers. There were only a handful of other adults in this movie. When the previews started these kids did not shut up NONE OF THEM. OK I was all right with that as I don't really pay attention to them anyhow. Then the movie comes on I COULD NOT HEAR A FRICKIN THING except for how cute Chris Brown was, how this chick or that one was battling over who was going to be his wife. They kept talking about all kinds of stuff I could not hear a thing ALL OF THEM WERE TALKING.
The employees did not say anything to these kids. One woman told them to shut up then they started shouting obseneties at her. I gave some dirty looks to a few, asked them to be quiet and it seemed to light their fire even more they got LOUDER AND LOUDER.
Finally I HAD ENOUGH. I told Cullen lets go now he knew I was mad plus he couldn't hear anything either. I slammed my coke into the trash, flew open the door slamming it into the wall and marched my happy go lucky ass up to the front to GET MY FRICKIN MONEY BACK!
I had to wait in the concession line as there was only 1 employee helping a teen in front of me. Cullen comes out I tell him to go get his BROTHER AND HIS FRIENDS NOW we are leaving. The kid in front of me overheard me bitching about the movie, he guessed which one I was at as he was in the same one. Turns out a few people out there held the same feelings.
Finally when it was my turn at the counter some punk teenager from the same movie let me say, cuts in front of me and two other ladies in back of me. THE FOOL AT THE COUNTER STARTS helping him KNOWING DAMN WELL I WAS THERE FIRST!
I piped in 'OH NO BUDDY I WAS HERE FIRST I WANT THE MANAGER NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!'. Everyone froze time stood still as the employees rushed around to get their leader.
The manager comes around and I am PISSED she was the employee who was at the trash can when I slammed the coke away. She KNEW DAMN WELL WHAT WAS GOING ON and did NOTHING! I told her I wanted my money back and why. Her answer you may ask? Fine go over there...(pointing to the ticket counter). NO I AM SORRY nothing!
By this time Darian and his friends emerge I advised I am leaving. The friends decided to phone home to get a ride their staying I AM LEAVING NOW.
I got my $50 back (that's how much a night of fustration cost me people).
I want to climb up the tallest mountain and scream at the top of my lungs FRICKIN TEENAGERS ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Thanks for listening to me vent and oh yeah Lady J, Lil, Hay and any other teens on here that I talk to (my brain is not working right now I am so mad) this post is not meant to disrespect yall because I know you guys are teens but at least you have half a brain these losers didn't.
I so was getting ready to wait outside when the movie let out to tell each and every one of their parents how they were acting.
NEVER EVER AGAIN will I go to a movie on the night it premiers without researching it to make sure it is not a cult hit with the FRICKIN TEENAGERS

Each day that goes by all of my children change. Some of those changes are positive and some show signs of negative behavior.
The baby of my bunch Neva took her first few steps last night as I was holding her hands. Of course these steps were assisted not yet on her own but they were still amazing. The previous day before she showed no signs of this independence. I love the baby stage and all the firsts that come with it
Then there is my 13 year old Darian. I have been noticing latley how he is trying to find himself, trying to fit in. No matter how many times I tell him to be himself he still is fighting with himself as to who he should be. Like everything in life it is easier said then done.
Whatever insight I give him as a mother I try to look at the same insight my Mom gave me. I did the same thing, trying to fit in.
This morning I opened Darian's door to ask him a question. He seemed shocked and hurried to hide what ever it was he was doing under his blankets. RED ALERT, RED ALERT Mom's flags going up every where Of course in order to get to the bottom of things I had to play it off like I did not see anything.
I asked my question, got my answer then closed the door. Then in my PI mode I slowly cracked open the door. I could see him taking out these little white circles. Aye what went through my mind was that they were pieces of crack cocaine as I know what they look like from my days living in the big city of Worcester. GREAT now my son is a DRUG DEALER I opened the door quickly asking him what he had in his hands. He hurried and ingested some of the pills (which were children's asprin). I asked him what he was doing. He said he had a headache so he was taking some asprin.
My eyes focused down to his comforter. I could see an assortment of pills different colors and sizes. My mind went back to the conversation him and I had last night on the way back from the boys club. I was explaining to him how important it is to be him not to try to be something or someone he isn't. People will always know when he is faking the funk so to speak. He agreed. He was telling me how some kid at school brings over the counter pills to school to feel high and how stupid it was. Also how some kids are bringing these to school selling them to other kids.
Darian what are you doing, nothing. I told him to tell me the truth because I knew something wasn't right. He proceeds to tell me how he is trying to fit in. He was planning on bringing these to school not to take but to sell as some of the kids he is friendly with do that. He had Claritin, children's asprin, excedrin and Advil PM. I explained to him how dangerous that is to take any medicine that I don't give him. The pills that he took out in combination could cause someone's death and if he sold it to a kid he could be in jail for murder.
I took the pills and put them back in their containers. He knew I was disapointed as I told him so and he could tell in my face. I explained how our decisions are paths. That if he is selling these now it could lead to selling heavier drugs such as weed, coke, crack.
I shared with Darian about a friend of mine that I knew who sold drugs then that led to him murdering a rival drug dealer all over turf. Now that friend is in jail for most of his life.
He went to school but I was left here feeling scared for him. I have to nip this all in the bud. How much of it is normal? How much of it is abnormal? I know one thing all those medicines are being locked up. I never knew I would have to do that.
I called BF told him what happened. He is better with this stuff then me #1 he's a boy #2 he knows the streets. He is going to take Darian out tonight later. Their first stop a hang out for some drug users and dealers so he can see where it leads to. Second stop to the police station so they can speak to him about the dangers of the wrong path. Sometimes it is helpful to have more then just your mother telling you something is wrong.
This sort of scared straight tactic worked on Cullen a few years back when he was being bratty about the food I cooked for dinner. We always told him how other people are not as lucky to have food and would love to eat what I cook.
BF took him to a make shift camp some homeless people had near where we lived. He explained to the homeless folk the whole situation and asked them to tell Cullen what it was like to be in their position which they did. It was theraputic for those homeless people as well as many of them were on the right path at one time but now because of drugs they found themselves braving the outdoors nightly.
Cullen came home crying. He told me how he felt bad for them and now knew how thankful he should be. Needless to say we never had the same tug of wa about dinner again

My oldest will always be the firstborn and my baby no matter how old he gets.
Sometimes when I am talking to him about something I find myself staring at him. How tall he is, how much he looks like his Dad, how he has my personality, he giggles like me.
I can not believe how fast these 13 years have gone by it seems like just the other day he was at college cheerleading practice with me running through the gym dancing away. When he was that age I would daydream of the person he would become. What kind of music would he like, what will his friends be like, will he have a sense of humor, will he still be close to me?
Now all of those answers are surfacing he is becoming an individual. Taking bits and pieces from myself and the world around him creating the person he is.
Last night I picked him up at the Boys and Girls club. His maturity hit me like a ton of bricks....bam He was playing bumper pool with a friend. I saw him as a certified TEENAGER
While we were waiting at the front desk for some paperwork I stared at his interaction with the other boys. Giving daps/hand pounds to all kinds of boys as if he was running for political office Then even scarier were the looks girls were giving him...OH NO He's mine I don't want to share!!!!!
As we walked out of there last night two girls his age chirped in 'You coming tomorrow?' He smiled 'Yeah I'm going to come every day'. Aye it's starting I am going to have to share my baby boy with girls and the world

Since my daughter was born she has changed all of our lives for the better. I have finally got my little girl (something I think all women dream of) and my boys have got a little princess to worship.
She has brought the best out in all of us. Geneva has effected Darian the most as he always remained unemotional for the most part. He shows her love and affection more then anyone else in the house.
It is nice to see a teenager goo-goo over his little sister it melts your heart as you watch their interaction.
Darian was psyched when I was pregnant with Neva as he hoped for his partner in crime. Cullen and Isaiah are very close and I guess Darian always felt left out of the picture has he was never really close to those two. He even made mention of how the baby would be on his 'side' battling those two
I think every big brother should have a little sister to bring out the emotional side in em. She loves all of them to death. I feel so good knowing she is going to grow up with an army of big protectors to confide in,protect her and show her what a real man is!

I thought my 13 yearold was responsible/mature enough for a myspace account when he asked for one. He explained a lot of kids had one (even though your supposed to be 14 to have one). I told him under one condition,I would need the password and access to it. He agreed to this and his adventure was on.
He has been a member for like 5 months with no problems. He usually doesn't even go on but latley he has.
It didn't take long for drama. A few days ago we were looking at some of his friends on his lists and their photos. We were laughing at this one kid as he was all gangsta in most pictures then had a picture of him and his rabbit We were also laughing at some of the comments some of the kids had put on there.
Well my sweet angel took it upon himself to start some sh** with this kid for no reason He gave me the whole sob story about some kid messing with him all because he made a funny comment about the carrot and the rabbit. I took that opportunity to explain to him how some people can not be joked with like that specially if your not close to him like the other people who commented are. I told Darian he should tell the kid he was sorry he was out of line as the kid was going to be mad at school.
This afternoon I get bitched out by my Mother telling me I have to move Darian to another school because Darian was complaining about this same kid bullying him. I always try to tell my Mom that Darian doesn't always tell the truth which a lot of teens do but she won't hear it. In fact she got all pissed off at me telling me he was going to get hurt.
Curiosity got the better of me this afternoon as I accessed his Myspace account digging through the sent,in and trash boxes. It appears he started the whole thing thinking he was cool.
Being the mother I responded to the kid Darian was messing with as his last message said he was going to kick darian's ass next time he saw him (I don't blame him by some of the things he was writing) I told the kid that I read what Darian was writing and he is in the wrong that I would take care of it.
It seems to have squashed the beef. So when he gets home from the gym tonight we will need to have a long....long talk. I am not sure if/how a punishment should/should not be implemented.
What do yall think?